Ontolog's Pairing Notes:

Pairs nicely with summer nights, soft rock, Guardians of the Galaxy, a Pilot vanishing point fountain pen, and that vodka commercial with Daniel Craig dancing.

I wish that I knew plant names. I've often wished this. Right now, I'm looking out the window at a lovely arboretum with swingling chairs, climbing vines and trimmed hedges. But I can't describe it to you. Authors like Annie Dillard know many words for outside. I love outside, I know how outside makes me feel, I can name the feelings. But I don't know the names of outside things.

When I sat down here to write, I intended to tell you about where I am (Kripalu) and a funny story about syncronicity. But my bestie Pam just texted. (Do we use that word anymore, "bestie"?) She sent me pictures her night, listening to James Taylor at Tanglewood.

I've always wanted to see James at Tanglewood but could never get tickets. James and I go way back. Not in any way James would be aware of, except that he met me once. 34 years ago. Still, he has played a bit part in the story of my life. I doubt I'm alone in this.

Anyway, in her text, Pam said "I don’t have a bucket list but there was one thing that I always wanted to do…and now I did it!"

On this weekend of gallivanting synchronicity, that was a well-timed nudge. I forgot -- I want to continue writing about Lists. Ontologies and the interrelationship of structure and substance. Or just lists of things I like, whatever.

So no lyrical description of the Berkshires today. Instead, a list. Like Pam, I don't have, or want, a Bucket List. "Things I want to do before I die" sounds so ... linear. Hurry up and do things or you'll die full of regret. Like sand through an hour glass, so are the days of our lives.

Sitting at a table at Kripalu, looking out at the Berkshires, what do I most want to experience yet have not yet experienced?

This list is 12 things long. Because 12 hours on a clock face, a dozen Holy Donuts, and 12 is the largest single syllable number (in English).

Write 10, no 12, books.
Go to the Pacific Ocean and spend deep time there, walking along the beach, developing a relationship with it. Like Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
Eat real food. Except occasionally, when I choose to eat Cashewtopia Pistachio Gelato or Hu chocolate. I want to be fed by the Earth rather than Man, ie ManMade, ManUfactured and Mad Men manipulating my body's inner knowing so that I become addicted to Doritos (or Snickers or Smartfood).
I want to run along nature trails. I won't do that because I hate running. I also want to ride a cool-looking mountain bike on those trails but I won't do that either. I don't want to break my body. (I don't ride my motorcycle anymore for the same reason, though I'm happy I rode it when I didn't mind the risk). I want to hike the Appalachain trail but I probably won't invest six months doing something so, metaphorical. The thing I want most to do is dance. I will do that, even if it's in my living room.
I want to publish a newsletter (and a few other interestingly-shaped digital consumables). I want to enjoy the flow of intellectually creative work between people who are hungry for it (as I am).
I want to continue building a massive knowledge store. Nope, store isn't the right word. A space of interrelated knowledge for exploring, an 'outdoors' for the voraciously curious, lifelong meaning makers looking for their knowledge geek tribe.
I want to teach. I doubt that anything coming to your mind right now is what I mean by "teach". However, I still want to do it.
I want to figure out what I mean by teach.
I want to spend half the year (ish) in Europe. Not right now. I would miss my dogs, cat, chickens and the plants in my yard that I can't name. I'd miss Adams Fairacre Farms and the familiar experience of the Northeast US. When I am in the EU, that space increasingly feels like Next. My home country increasingly feels like a descending handbasket.
I want to remember that the people who love me, love me.
When my mind and body wander into the past, push anxiously into the future and otherwise stress about Time -- I want to remember that I am Now. Everything I am experiencing is now. I don't mean this in a new age way -- there is no such thing as linear time. But that's another post for another day (stay with me, physics nerds).
Lastly, firstly, and Now ... I want to love my life. Really truly love it. Make certain that life knows I AM HERE FOR IT. I want life to know that I'm grateful it didn't abandon me on the dark days, when I abandoned life. Or on all the grey days, when I take life for granted. Or on all the other days when I am too busy to remember life.

Note to self: Come back next year and ... retrospect. Everyone loves a retrospective! Bring pictures. Meanwhile, learn the names of plants.